DOGROY interviews comedian Andrew Corkery

Shplain who y'are

I am what I would call and what a lot of my old secondary school friends call a “Funny Amusing Gentleman” if you will. In all seriousness though, I’m Andrew, 22 (Almost 23) and I’ve been doing comedy on and off (Mostly off) for about 3 years

Where'd ya come outta?

I was sucked out into the world via vacuum and because of that I now reside in Passage West

What brings ya to these here parts?

I dunno, bored

What's yer greatest crime?

I downloaded a car, I know those ads told us we shouldn’t do it but I just couldn’t help myself, and if that makes me the villain then so be it

What's yer weapon of choice?

My quick wit and my sharp tongue… or a sword, sword would be cool too

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

Collected the 7 chaos emeralds, and stopped a giant water lizard from destroying the city (No need to check if I did that, I did)

What is your opinion on poo?

I sometimes get concerns cause I don’t poop all the time, might need to up my fibre thanks for reminding me that I need to look into that

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

I usually cycle to Blackrock castle when I’m going for a cycle for exercise, it’s a nice scenic route with lots of nice… Oh you meant SE-

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

I would impose the Glee penalty for any law breakers where to atone for their punishments they need to watch Matthew Morrison rap on loop until the end of their sentence

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

Watching a page get sucked into a printer is quite satisfying, especially if it’s like you know that glossy paper that you can’t touch for like 5 business days after printing otherwise you’ll mess it up and when you do it’s results in you being ostracised from your family as they just wanted a nice family picture and instead they get a catastrophe as you can’t do anything right… or plugging in a USB correctly on the first go is pretty cool too

Attack:

-10 (My arms are like pre cooked noodles)

Defence:

-50 (If you even look at me funny I will immediately cry)

Power:

25 (Knowledge is power but I am a bit stupid)

Health:

Probably at a 68.75 cause I smoke

Morality:

Chaotic Neutral, I do dumb ass shit on a whim like today I nearly ran in front of the LUAS

Net Worth:

I just got paid today, I got a whole 50c

What d'ya think o' me mother?

She seems like a lovely lady, I’d have a drink or 10 with her probably

Length of willy or husband's willy:

This is such a ridiculous question cause why would I tell you the details of such an intimate part of me and my partner’s bodies… when our onlyfans is so easy to find I mean come on now

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

I’ve always loved hexagons, such a funny word. Hex A Gone, tee hee

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.