Dogroy interviews comedian Andy Casper

Shplain who y'are.

I'm Andy Casper, a comedian living in Barcelona. I have a girlfriend. I swim a lot.

What brings ya to these here parts?

I wanted to experience another culture.

What's yer greatest crime?

I killed my brother's sea monkeys by spraying Lynx Voodoo into their little tank thing when I was about 10. I was jealous that his had survived whilst mine died of natural causes.

What's yer weapon of choice?

Lynx Voodoo

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

A mongoose

What is your favourite poo?

Hankey the Christmas

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Probably sitting on a throne wearing a golden crown in some medieval banqueting hall just like clapping my hands making jesters dance for me, calling out in a booming voice, ''Play for me, jester, Play!'' Just being relentlessly entertained and calling servants to bring me meat like ''More meat!'' and eating it in a really visceral way where all the juice dribbles down my chin.

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

I saw a robin fly head first into a French window and immediately die. It was outside in the garden for like 2 weeks and I just watched it decompose. Maggots were crawling over it and eventually it was just a skeleton. I didn't go outside for like two months after that.

Attack: 4/10

Defence: 5/10

Power: Empathy and swimming

Fear:

That bit in the Omen where she hangs herself and she's like, ''It's all for you, Damien, it's all for you.'' - eurgh

Smell:

Lynx Vood- nah, not any more. Erm, just whatever shower gel my girlfriend buys.

Wealth:

Nothing to write home about but surviving

What d'ya think o' me mother?

I think that if what I've heard about you having sex with her is true and she is still reading you bed time stories and kind of seemingly still quite heavily involved in your life then I think she must be a bit fucked up. Kind of like the mother in the horror movie ''Mother's Day'' or like a ''Hills Have Eyes'' kind of vibe. I'm imagining the creature from the Goonies but it's an old woman.

⚠ Misinformation Warning from PropagandЯoy

Claim: Dogroy has sex with his mother

Fact Check: FALSE

He sometimes stops to eat worms

⛨ Criticising DOGЯOY is a threat to public health

Length of willy or husband's willy:

Maybe 3 inches whilst flaccid - I refuse to get a boner or to get a measuring device just to answer this question so that estimate will have to do.

How d'ya expect te die?

I think I'll die in a fight.

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

The rhombus. People don't realise that a square is technically a rhombus because the term ''rhombus'' just means a 4-sided shape that has 4 equal sides. There is a lot of confusion because it is also a type of parallelogram and can be, when in square form, a rectangle too - madness!

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.