DOGROY interviews comedian Ciaran Franco

Shplain who y'are

Anxiety ridden wanna be comedian from the Kingdom of North Belfast

Where'd ya come outta?

My mother's doot

What brings ya to these here parts?

I’m in work and tried to get it swapped so in protest I’m doing Dogroy's interview

What's yer greatest crime?

Robbing a golf course with my cousin in Donegal when I was 15 we made a fortune I felt like Meyer Lansky

What's yer weapon of choice?

Golf club

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

Accidentally broke my best friend’s foot and got him a 9 grand claim

What is your opinion on poo?

I have IBS

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

Your mother

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Live on a beach in Spain and eat salted chilli chicken and boojum

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

My dad cry

Attack: Always

Defence: Best form of defence is attack motherfucker

Power: Power mad

Health: Awful

Morality: Morbius

Net Worth:

I’m in the minus of an overdraft I need to pay back by August

What d'ya think o' me mother?

She has a lot to answer for

Length of willy or husband's willy:

A classic 4-4-2 penis, gets the job done nothing flashy

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

Time is a flat circle

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.