DOGROY interviews musician and director Darragh J Glennon

Shplain who y'are

I’m a songwriter from Mullingar. Darragh J Glennon. The J stands for pretentious.

What brings ya to these here parts?

Beloved Mullingar. I left a while ago but the snack box in Lino’s keeps dragging me back.

What's yer greatest crime?

Bought Britney Spear’s second album.

What's yer weapon of choice?

Enda Toner from Delvin. Absolute weapon.

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

Carried three bags of shopping (big) from Tescos to Green Road and only had to stop once.

What is your favourite poo?

Magic ones.

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

1998 Ford Fiesta

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Reopen Hughes Pub and bring back pints for €2.60

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

An elderly woman in a clothes shop stripping down to her birthday suit to try on a pair of jocks.

Attack: Cholesterol

Defence: Voluntary intoxication defence

Power: Sleep

Fear: Man-eating horses

Smell: Joop for men from Mojo’s jacks

Dreams: The Cranberries (RIP Dolores)

What d'ya think o' me mother?

Legend

Length of willy or husband's willy:

25,000 micrometers

How d'ya expect te die?

Hit by blimp

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

The Auld Triangle. Or top down view of chicken goujons.

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.