DOGROY interviews comedian Gerard Ryan

Shplain who y'are

Gerard Ryan

What brings ya to these here parts?

I live here

What's yer greatest crime?

Pretending to be disabled so I could get good parking, I basically just said I’m Dogroy

What's yer weapon of choice?

My ex

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

No lie, just last week I cut the grass in my garden with my hands, just pulled that shit straight out

What is your favourite poo?

The Asian kind, like in 2 girls and 1 cup

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

Mary Harney, awful person but really nice feet

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

I’d legalise the age of abortion to whatever age you are

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

Seeing you onstage, I was paralysed with disappointment *

*amazement 

(Dissent crushed by PropagandЯoy)

Attack: The N word

Defence: I have black friends

Power: Surviving suicides

Fear: Surviving suicides

Smell: Frey Bentos tinned pie

Wealth: Around €490

What d'ya think o' me mother?

Wouldn’t ride her into battle

Length of willy or husband's willy:

Massive

How d'ya expect te die?

With my girlfriend plunging a knife into my chest saying “stop lying about your dick size”

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

Whatever shape Warwick Davis is

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.