DOGROY interviews comedian Jack Miller

Shplain who y'are

Family man, comedian, fighter of tories

What brings ya to these here parts?

I love where I'm from and stay because of the people!

What's yer greatest crime?

Pissing in bins when drunk

What's yer weapon of choice?

Thighs

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

Ran through a locked front door at full speed and took it off its hinges

What is your favourite poo?

On the aeroplane

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

My Mrs

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Performing stand up, it's become a bit if an addiction

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

Son's being born emotional and I think I could see her spine tingle

Attack: flying head butt

Defence: thigh squeeze

Power: Can understand a crowd pretty well

Fear: Katie Hopkins making a come back

Smell: toilet duck

Wealth: the wealthy are cunts

What d'ya think o' me mother?

Does a lovely spread

Length of willy or husband's willy:

Bigger than an acorn smaller than forearm

How d'ya expect te die?

Wrestling a bear over a Cave dwelling

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

Rhombus

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.