DOGROY interviews comedian Luke Johnson
Luke on stage at Coughlan's
Shplain who y'are
I'm just a guy named Luke Johnson that only ever eats cereal dry. I'm aware this makes me seem like... cereal killer!
What brings ya to these here parts?
I wish I knew. I really lack direction in life
What's yer greatest crime?
Once spiked my friends drink with a multivitamin because I worry, that's what I'm really guilty of
What's yer weapon of choice?
Dual wielded banana guns
What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?
Sang LMFAO-Sexy And I Know It during karaoke wearing only a jockstrap in Reykjavik
What is your favourite poo?
A nervy poo except for that one I did before my first open mic where little came out, strained my neck and couldn't look left for 10 minutes
What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?
That machine I heard some band was raging against
If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?
Feed landlords to the poor
What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?
The Internet in the early 2010's still haunts me to this day
Attack: Saying my oppenents name in a very disapproving manner
Defence: Saying "Please don't"
Power: The ability to be emotionally vulnerable in front of the lads
Fear: Chandeliers. Anyone that wants to dangle a heavy glass and metal frame from a ceiling with electrical wires over them must wanna die.
Smell: Perpetual fear at the thought I might accidentally walk under a chandelier
Dreams: For the french song played over the speakers in Shawshank Redemption to be replaced with Pitbull-Hotel Room Service and released in cinemas.
What d'ya think o' me mother?
Surprisingly good dancer and even better Dungeon Master!
Length of willy or husband's willy:
It's so big that even I'm insecure about it
How d'ya expect te die?
Crushed by chandelier, screaming for help at first but then ultimately vindicated in the fact that I was right to spend a lifetime telling people not to trust them.
Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):
Definitely penne pasta
Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.