DOGROY interviews comedian Matt Jones

Shplain who y'are.

I’m Matt. I’m a scouse comedy person that says it how it is.. so .. It.. it it it it it ..

What brings ya to these here parts?

I was born in the city I love and stayed here because it’s boss

What's yer greatest crime?

Murder of a rat .. 4 rats .. not a crime I don’t think as they were in my mums house.. I drowned them .. true story that..

What's yer weapon of choice?

Finger nails

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

Raised awareness for Bowel Cancer

What is your favourite poo?

On holiday looking around the hotel bathroom

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

I think it must be the second one .. love it

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

I would be in my castle with lots of dogs eating popcorn whilst asking people who’s the king of tribe castle

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

A pack of dogs about to eat me alive

Attack:

Shouting

Defence:

run

Power:

funny

Fear:

needles

Smell:

vanilla

Wealth:

Buddhist

What d'ya think o' me mother?

She’s got a craicing son

Length of willy or husband's willy:

the one on my head ?

How d'ya expect te die?

Eaten by natives

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

rectangles

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.