DOGROY interviews comedian Pete Giffen

Shplain who y'are

Pete Giffen. Not Griffin. I repeat, not Griffin.

Where'd ya come outta?

Lurgan

What brings ya to these here parts?

Chance

What's yer greatest crime?

Stroked a creme egg from a local Mace

What's yer weapon of choice?

UMP45 silencer with FMJ

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

42 in a 40 zone

What is your opinion on poo?

Not a fan

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

Hope

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Skiving

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

A man getting his spine tingled

Attack: underwhelming

Defence: moat

Power: ade

Health: i consume a lot of rennies

Morality: sound cunt

Net Worth: few bob

What d'ya think o' me mother?

I don’t

Length of willy or husband's willy:

6 inches in perfect weather conditions

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

I’m a fan of rectangles

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.