DOGROY interviews comedian Ross Daly

Shplain who y'are

I’m Ross a stand up comedian based in Glasgow

What brings ya to these here parts?

Well you asked me…

What's yer greatest crime?

Wouldn’t like to get the jail so next question

What's yer weapon of choice?

Hammer with Stanley blade taped to it

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

A shit after a vindaloo

What is your favourite poo?

Solid and sweet

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

No clue what this means

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Probably getting fatter

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

Sticky Vicky in Benidorm

Attack: Couldn’t batter a fish

Defence: Armadillo position

Power: Never full up

Fear: Vegetables

Smell: Sour milk

Dreams: Chuck the day job

What d'ya think o' me mother? Duff ride

Length of willy or husband's willy: Mega wee

How d'ya expect te die? Heart attack due to obesity

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please): Triangle

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.