DOGROY interviews comedian Warren McIntyre

Shplain who y'are.

Nobody, but stuff often happens to me and people like to hear about it. They don't take it with the seriousity it deserves though.

Where'd ya come outta?

My mother as she did from her mother before as she did etc. Where did the first one come from. Do I look like I know?

What brings ya to these here parts?

I live here. It's where I sleep and keep my stuff.

What's yer greatest crime?

My wife says it's my sense of fashion but I think I got away with it so shhhhhh! (Delete this please)

What's yer weapon of choice?

I thought this was an interview, now you want to fight? Running away I suppose.

What's the most powerfulest thing ya've ever done?

I once used a hairdryer on the maximum setting. It was 1,400W I believe.

What is your opinion on poo?

A necessary evil.

What's yer fayvorit bayst te ryde or get ryd by?

An army of ants. Which one, that's for you to decide.

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

Wondering how I could come down.

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

Any movie where Frere Jacques is played in the background.

Attack:

Run towards

Defence:

Run away

Power:

1,400W

Health:

If I learnt anything from computer games, it matters not. Eating an apple restores you to full health, regardless of ailments.

Morality:

Yes, but I'm trying to lose weight.

Net Worth:

I have kids, minus a million

What d'ya think o' me mother?

She's lovely, now can she put away the crowbar?

Length of willy or husband's willy:

My husband's not called Willy, in fact I don't even have a husband.

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

Hexagon, I'm surprised you even have to ask.

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.

True.