DOGROY interviews Ray Murphy, comedian of West Craic Comedy Club in West Cork

Shplain who y'are.

Your da

What are ya at?

If I told you your name would put me in court

Where'd ya come outta?

Ballincompton

What brings ya to these here parts?

The three C's, Comedy, Craic, and Cpints

Wha'd'ya make o' this fine place?

Steve Hughes called me cool

What's yer greatest crime?

Not marrying your ma. Fine woman. Once picked up the caravan to let some young fellas get their ball back.

What's yer weapon of choice?

Well timed farts and a can do attitude

If ya were the High King o' the Land, what would ya be at?

I'd be up pretty high. Being a king. Owning land. With your ma.

What's the most spine tingling thing ya've ever seen?

I once saw a proposal outside a McDonalds. She said yes, then bayt the shite out of each other like 5 minutes later. Love Cork

Attack:

Riga hammer

Defence:

“To be fair your honour, I'm a rascal.”

Power:

China

Health:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Morality:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Net Worth:

Did time for 3, caught 9.

Length of willy or husband's willy:

I'm a grower, not a big penis owner.

Favourite shape (No 3D ones please):

The shapes I throw when I dance battle your Ma before she beats the shit outta me for the cousins.

Dogroy’s questions had to be transcribed for him by his mother because he is retarded.